After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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