Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
