I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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