She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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