I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
