Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
