There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize