...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
