So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
soo... how was my night?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
