if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
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