My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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