Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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