How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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