I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
