I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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