i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
