David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
