trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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