You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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