wat bout pragnant strippers??
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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