Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃