Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So much puke
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The Olympian is in my bed