by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize