I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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