Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
