I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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