That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
