seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
