yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
