They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
