I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
