I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
