Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
