sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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