talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
