Four minutes until I can fart!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
