she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
