This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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