i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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