Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
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There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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