I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
