Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
