Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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