The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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