The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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