We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
