i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
