White coat. Heels.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
