I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
