Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Vodka?
Forever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
