That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
