i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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