I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
