She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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