Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
