I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
