Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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