he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
