But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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