Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
