operation harelip BJ is a go
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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