yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
