i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
