Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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